Grow Your Faith

Question: Dear Jaime, I'm having a little bit of a spiritual dilemma.  I've been with this guy for a while and everything is going okay but he's not a Christian.  I know what the bible says about being unequally yoked, but he's a good man.  I was just wondering what should a Christian woman do in this case?  There are very few "Christian" men out there as it is.  They all seem to be just as bad as men that are in the world - so what do I do?

Yours Truly,
Sincerely Seeking


Answer: Dear Sincerely Seeking, I can truly see and understand your dilemma. When it comes to matters of the heart sometimes we can’t always control who we fall in love with.  Statistically there is some truth to there being fewer men in the church than there are women and yes, at times in their process and journey, it may feel as though they may be lacking in character and integrity, as do some of the women also.  The challenge however as believers is that when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, we surrender our hearts and declare to Him, no longer my will Lord, but Your will be done.  God’s word is still the same yesterday, today and forever more and no matter how we rationalize or justify it, He is clear that we are not to be unequally yoked or joined to unbelievers.

God told Abraham that Sarah his wife would have a baby and that child would be a child of promise.  Years went by and when Sarah saw she was not getting pregnant, she panicked and in her desperation forced Abraham to have a child, Ishmael, through her mistress Hagar. We have to ensure that in our waiting on God for that special someone, that we don’t panic and in an act of desperation reach for something or someone that would not please God.  When she finally received God’s promise Isaac in her life she commanded that the mistress and her son be banished. Abraham was devastated because he loved his son dearly. However the Lord said to him that Sarah is right, you must separate from Ishmael as the promise will not come through him, but Isaac. Sometimes we have to give up what we love in order to receive what God has promised.  Ishmael was a good man, just not the seed of promise.  God reassured Abraham not to worry, he would bless Ishmael, however the promise would flow from Isaac. 

In our lives we may encounter many great things, people and Ishmaels, but no matter how we try, we will not be satisfied until we are completely walking in God’s will, purpose and promise for our lives. To the single men and women, it is important that you seek out God’s heart and intention for you before marriage. Two cannot walk unless they agree. He is the all knowing, all seeing God.  He has predestined you before the world began and has a concise and clear plan for your life. In Jeremiah 29:11-14 God says, “I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed" (The Message).  Trusting in God is not always easy, but He really is the only way, the truth and the life. I know it’s not an easy decision, however one that affects not only your present, but future legacy.  Trust God to provide, take care of you and to order your steps. Wait on Him and let Him lead you to the promise.